I get quite a surge of calls following Valentines day- it's why I always run an Anger Management Course in the week following it.
(Editor -there's still a couple of places left on Saturday 20th Feb 9-4pm £97 call us on 0800 021 7613)
I think the reason it gets a bit screwed up is because we often have the notion of the perfect day, we set ourselves up for disappointment ns believe everything will be different on this one special day.
Who wants to be the boyfriend or girlfirend, husband, wife or partner that screws up the supposedly most romantic day of the year?
Call me cynical if you like but the truth is that why should anything change just because the cards are in the shops and the roses are three times the price. Just like New Year's resolutions we put ourselves under this perfectionist pressure.
So what to do? Well I think the best bet is to use Valentines as a reminder to one, listen to each other and two, remind yourself of why you got together in the first place.
Ask yourselves these two questions and listen to each other's answer. Don't wait until next Feb 14th to be romantic- discuss what you both think would make life together better and then work on that. For relationahip advice where anger is a problem go to our MyAngerCoach.com site, sign up for free and you will see a number of videos, audios and articles that can help.
Case Study
Mark joined our one day Anger Management course in September 2009.
Initially he was skeptical, how could a one day course change anything as he and his partner Julie were at the point of breaking up.